إليها، أطيب الود والتحايا،،

بعض الحقائق في الحياة، لايمكن أن تكون أكثر وضوحاً !
وبعض الأشياء، لايسعنا قولها إلا مع القلق والكثير من القلق من آثارها، ولا يسعنا كتمها أكثر، لان الكتمان، لا يجرح أحداً سِوانا،،
تكاثرتْ الجِراحْ، وآن الأوان لِعض الحقائق بالتجلي،،،

أقر واعترف، أنني لم أكن شُجاعة بما فيه الكفاية لادونها بِلُغتيَّ الأم، ولكن اللغات الأخرى، يُحمدُ لها، أن بها شيئاً من الستر، بعضاً من رحمة، لكي لايتحطم كل شيء، ولانقاذ ماتبقى من بعضِ هذا الشيء !

لوهلة تذكرت الشقيق مجتبى، وأعتقد أنني مدينة له بقاعده اساسية تعلمتها منه في الصداقه ! فـ شكراً !


إلى من عدتني صديقة، ولكنني لم أفعل، ولم استطع حتى اليوم، ولا استطيع أن أجامل أكثر، كل الود، وخالص التحايا،،
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You pretend to be my friend, but in my eyes, you are just a matter of time!
Here’s the story of us, written with the letters of my heart, on the hope of your awakening, to break my fears about us, the fear of the time, before it’s too late !


Since the beginnings, my heart told me; this isn’t safe enough, this isn’t what I am looking for, this wasn’t right, this is dangerous to my pulse, this’s what will bring the tears down, this’s something which will break so hard; all of these fears, were in day number.1 ! but I ignored my inner me, for the first time !
I was childish enough, to think that with some pushes, everything will be alright, if it wasn’t for me, then for you at least, Because I was smart enough, to challenge my self, not trust my heart for once ! and do one thing in my life, not for me, but for somebody else, who was unfortunately; you.

I gave you the lead, the ultimate & absolute lead. I respected you for who you are as a person, as a sensitive human bein. I closed my eyes on the flaws you have, & tried my best to see the best in you.
I tried to pull you slowly, easily, softly from your materialistic ocean, from your false direction you chosen, I tried to show you the real world, the beautiful world I see, I tried to let you touch the frame of life, to control the life you have, more wisely, more responsibly. Because I loved the life for you ! because I loved the happiness, to be in your path, always !
But you didn’t realize all of this, you didn’t want to have this right now, you wanted to live randomly, for yourself and the only self you ever known your self in ! having everything, and sacrificing nothing. Even me, me, you didn’t see me ! you didn’t notice me ! you didn’t understand the special thing about me ! you just looked & combined me to your list of life, without knowing who I really am !
It was a glance, between you, seeing me, & the moment you combined me to the list of yours, and I gave you that chance, with my full well & awareness, of me, being just a number, in your choice at anytime by that moment !

Life taught me about people like you .. & I am NOT blind ! I saw you, & I saw what you are trying to do. I let your little things go, but they accumulated, and I don't forget, but I forgive.
I am trying my best, not to hurt you, not to be harsh on you, BUT you, on the other hand, not helping me, you are hurting me, you are intoxicating me with your deep, dark poisons ! whether it was in your intension or not, whether it was strokes I got by accident from you or not, IT HURTS !
I am curing my wounds by myself, one after the other, and I keep making honest excuses for you, I didn’t want to believe that this was happening since the beginning ! I didn’t want to believe that I contributed to this situation by giving you the absolute lead, and that you used it, dangerously, against no one, but me !
Unfortunately enough for you, and luckily enough for me, now I do, I do believe & realize how bad choice you were to me ! I see more than what you expect ! I see you, I see the real you ! All the masks you wore had fallen, all your bright fancy colours which you hided behind before, won’t hide the hard real things I see.
You are so exposed in my eyes, there’s no way for you to escape the truth of what you did to me, it’s either black, or white, there’s no way for the grey manipulation to come and serve you by saving your angelic beauty. You are such a beauty on the surface, but deep inside, you had that little evilness, which didn’t stun anyone, but me, me in particularly !


I am a strong person, & I am proud, & I am strong enough to let you go, even if you didn't want to ! which leads us back, to the matter of time !
Either you use what left of this time, wisely, and am welling to open a new episode, a new page for you if you want to, and pretend that nothing had happened to me, and I wasn’t hurt at all, and keep you in my life, by my side, forever, or just stop it, stop everything you are doing to your self and me ! just stop !



One last word, from the bottom of my heart, to your wicked mind; You can't manipulate me! you couldn't ! not in the past, not now, and not tomorrow ! I am aware, aware of everything, but ignorance was sort of kindness in me, but not anymore, not anymore !

Save your self, or save no one else.. and go !




With much love and respect,
Dr.f6oom